The Days You Don't Love Him

Have you ever had those days where you look at your significant other and question if you can really spend the rest of your life together? The day before you were madly in love; wanting him/her around every single minute of every single day, for every singly breath you take. Then the next day, it's like someone flicked the light switch.

I live in dread of that day. The day the light switches "off." However, it always seems to find me. In every serious relationship i've been in, there is a moment when I suddenly loose interest and everything changes. He no longer looks good, the way he walks bothers me, the conversation leaves me rolling my eyes.

The problem is not him. The problem is 100% mine to own. I've lost one "perfect" guy because the switch came and I left him. My eye began to wander. I began to wonder what I was missing. I felt trapped. Now it's happening again and I'm so scared. I don't want to loose another great guy because i'm a mess. I want to get married. I want to be with someone. I don't want to feel trapped. I want to be happy.

So as of right now, I suffer in silence. Hoping that those feelings of want and desire come back. What is wrong with me? This is the third time this has happened. I don't want to discard good people forever.

I don't want to hurt anyone else.

Will this ever change?

GOD, PLEASE NOT AGAIN!

Memorandum

Memo

to: Baby Boomers,

It is time for you to retire. Do you understand that because you fail to retire you are setting of a chain of economical issues that are sure to affect us for the next 20 years. Let me break it down for you because clearly you DON’T get it. (step 1 leads to step 2, etc.)

1. Economy: The bottom fell out during the years of the Bush. Stocks dropped. Spending stopped. Companies flopped.
2. Baby Boomers: You lost ½ of your 401k and retirement income so now you think you need to stay at work longer because 1) you need to build your money back up and 2) your 20 year old children are dependent on you because *GASP* they have yet to find a job post college and have thousands upon thousands in student loans.
3. Recent grads can’t find jobs because job opportunities are limited. Why are they limited? Because baby boomers won’t FREAKING retire. Now the few jobs that are available are taken by those with 10-30+ years of experience. In these trying times what HR representative would hire a recent graduate with intern experience over someone with 10-20+ years. (yes it’s true- Those with more experience are now competing in lower-end jobs because they are looking for ANYTHING that will help them pay the bills).
4. So Mom and Dad, here is the synopsis. The reason why your recent graduates stay at home longer, mooching off of you is because you and your MASSIVE baby boomer co-workers won’t MOVE THE HECK OUT THE WAY. Here’s my poem.

Ode to Old People

Baby boomers won’t retire

Recent grads can’t get hired

Recent grads stay at home

Recent grads default on school loans

Recent grads can’t buy homes

Banks can no longer function alone

Government decides to lends them money

Taxes go up for everybody

Economy won’t go up

Recent grads still out of luck

Recent grads apply at Target

While waiting for a better job market

Recent grads goes back to school

Pays more money like a fool

20 years now have passed

Baby Boomers depart in masse

Who is there to take their place?

My five degrees can’t replace

The work experience you’ve snatched away

Drake performes Live

Photo from MuchMusic

Man, all the cameras. I'm getting less and less excited about Drake and more and more concerned about the choas.

My Place and Sidelines Restaurants in the Washington Post

Struggling Restaurants Tap Into Md. Night Life
The crowd enjoys the music at My Place Sports Bar, but restaurants that transform into night spots have become an issue in the Maryland suburbs. (By Dominic Bracco Ii For The Washington
By Ovetta WigginsWashington Post Staff Writer Friday, May 15, 2009

Several restaurants in Prince George's and Montgomery counties have come up with an unorthodox way to stay afloat in today's economy: charge people to come through their doors.
With the new nighttime cover charges, restaurants are adding live bands, karaoke nights and pool tables to lure customers, said Kathie Durbin, chief of licensure, regulation and education for the Montgomery Department of Liquor Control.

"In this economy, people are trying to be creative," she said.

The restaurants are not breaking any regulations as long as they continue to serve food, Durbin said. The liquor control board routinely checks that restaurants, regardless of whether they provide entertainment, take in no more than half their revenue from alcohol sales, she said.
In Prince George's, restaurants with liquor licenses are required to receive liquor control board approval to offer new attractions. But some Prince George's residents complain that a handful of restaurants have essentially turned themselves into nightclubs. They are asking the county to provide better oversight.

"We have to find a better way of managing them," said Phil Lee, president of the Kettering Civic Federation.

Lee said that a nightclub crowd is different from a restaurant crowd and that nightclubs are more apt to breed violence. He cited a shooting this year at Sidelines Restaurant in Largo that left a man dead, linking the incident to a change in clientele.

Del. Michael L. Vaughn (D-Prince George's) said he is concerned that some restaurants have misrepresented themselves to the public.

"I've never been to a restaurant that charges a cover charge," Vaughn said. "I think we need to look at how we are doing things in this particular sector, set some guidelines and regulations."
Adrianne Goode, the owner of Peachez restaurant in Upper Marlboro, said she wants to start offering karaoke and a disc jockey. Currently patrons listen to live jazz music without paying a cover charge.

"The economy has really hurt us," Goode said. "A lot of people are not eating out . . . and on top of that, we are competing with D.C. venues. . . . We need to provide our clients [with] entertainment."

Franklin D. Jackson, chairman of the Prince George's liquor control board, said the board plans to hold public hearings in the next several weeks to discuss the operations of several restaurants, including Sidelines, My Place Sports Bar & Grill in Mitchellville, the Half Note in Bowie and Peachez.

Read the entire article at http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/05/14/AR2009051403990.html?hpid=moreheadlines

Hating on the Word Hater

Well since everyones seems to be currently voicing their opinions about being a "Hater" I thought i'd catch the wave and Re-post a blog I wrote on this subject over two years ago. Yes, yall are behind! lol/jk. Read a Very Smart Brothers' thoughts on the subject and then read mine.


I hate the term hatin." Just because you have an opinion about something that happens to be negative doesn't mean your a hater. Sometimes it's not even negative, it's just honest. We can't always have good opinions about something and everyone has different view points. Now it seems that if we don't preface our comments with, "I'm not hating but..." then we are cast aside with the rest of the "haters."

Shouldn't we be able to express our opinion be it, positive or negative, without being called a hater just because we don't like it. If a hater = someone who has a negative opinion, THEN where would the world be without hater's. We need both.

In that case:

Yes, I'm hating on George Bush and I can't wait till he's out of office
Yes, I'm hating on Kiamsha alumni who haven't once come back to mentor/help these kids
Yes, I'm hating on Rihanna's new song. WHO IS SHE? I just don't like it!! I'm not hating on the child. I could care less about her.

Yes, I'm hating on Usher and R.Kelly's new song. They could have done better. Point blanck, PERIOD. I'm not hating on them. I love both of them.

On the other hand......

I'm loving lupe fiasco's song "He say, she say" for shedding some light on the "absentee father" and its OBVIOUS affect on today's black youth. "Give them a fighting chance."

I'm loving those who have come back to help and be in the conference
I'm loving the fact that David has RSVP'd for the Saturday Academy Alumni program this weekend. I haven't seen him in a while. Now if we could just see John.
Posted by Deja~I~Am at 13:17

The answer to the question in women's heads

"yeah you cute but please don't let that go to yo head, cuz the ish that you won't do shawty anotha one will."

- My bruh

And therein lies the problem with our men. SMH. I'm through trying to rationalize them or explain what they really mean. Here it is in a nutshell.

You nasty bums are shallow. (and that was the nice version).

If you need further proof please read Demetria L. article in Essence this month. What a mess. Further proof, one guy said, "If your hip to butt ratio isn't on point, then I can't get into a serious relationship with you."

MISS ME WITH THIS NONESENSE

It's time for the brackets

THE BEST RAPPER ALIVE BRACKET!!!! Download your bracket at http://www.vibe.com/bestrapperever/downloads/BestRapperEver_Brackets.pdf/

I want to know who you have going all the way!!

Competition begins Monday, May 18! So hurry up and do this.

Weekend Warrior has fizzled

I can't get my mind around this weekend. so let me write it out.

Friday: NOTHING! Thank goodness. I don't want to go anywhere or do anything. I am pooped. Not necessarily tired, but just pooped. This would have been a great day to snuggle and watch movies with Ant.M. Oh well.

Saturday: My sister wants me to go back to Baltimore again for this model call. :-\ We'll see if I feel like going. At the moment, who knows. And then I have to go see CC dance at Towson for their fashion show. It's her last performance so i have to go.

Sunday: Church. Then, I'm supposed to go see KC sing up at Indulj. I have to make that as well.

Next weekend:
Friday: Coctails at the Spy Museum with Shannon.
Saturday: Drake Comes to town. Big Hooplah. A whole bunch of my Alpha friends are coming to town, so this may lead to some Sunday events as well.
ANTHONY COMES HOME.... HELLO!!

Next Next Weekend
Friday: Surgery
Saturday: 1. Sisters brunch at Cafe Promenade 2. Wedding rehearsal
Sunday......

GOSH. I'm pooped!

It isn't the big troubles in life that require character. Anybody can rise to a crisis and face a crushing tragedy with courage, but to meet the petty hazards of the day with a laugh--I really think that requires SPIRIT.

- Jean Webster, "Daddy Long Legs"

I'll love you when your hair turns gray girl; and i'll still want you when you gain a little weight, girl...

Musiq Soulchild provides the musical accompaniment for this post.

My friend went to visit his girl last night. She’s pretty. Medium to long hair, lighter skin tone and freckles. He was ghastly shocked, however, when she stepped out of the house, and the side of her head was shaved off, with a natural hawk sticking up in the middle.

Talking to him this morning really opened my eyes. I ranted to him, not to be one of those “brainwashed” black men who only like their light-skinned girlfriends to have long hair. In response, he simply asked me if I had seen her picture, which I’m sure he snapped for “evidence.” I had not but I was sure it couldn’t be that bad.

He sent it over and Gasp, her hair was drastically different. You could tell her motivation was the Cassie/J.Davey look (see below. For privacy reasons I will not be uploading her pic). I stared at it for a minute to see if I liked it. Honestly, I didn’t but I shot it off to j.a.c to see if maybe something was wrong with me. She liked it. “well she's a cute girl so that helps. she's wearing her hairstyle with confidence and sometimes no matter what the hairstyle looks like, confidence is all you need to rock it.”

So anyway, because I knew my guy friend, I spent the next 20-30 minutes trying to convince him NOT to stop talking to her. Our convo went something like this (snipet).

Me: some people think that looks good! I'm sure it will grow on you. I've gotta see it in person! It may look better. It may grow on me.
Him: i dont know bout that, its crazy
Me: don't be a jerk and stop talking to her. I will beat you up. I know you are not that shallow.
Him: lol ill see
Me: wow.. you really are that shallow.
Him: No I’m not
Me: you're lucky my work phone is not letting me call 240 right now for some reason. lol. You know I was about to call you!
Him: Good, cuz I don’t wanna hear it. LOL
Me: HA HAHAHAH. Here are some pictures of singer j.davey & cassie. Both rock the hawk
Him: lol and that’s where she got it from, they look a mess.
Me: well at least she's edgy. We gotta give her credit for that.
Him: if u wanna call it that. she just looks so different now.

And that’s when I finally got it. My friend is no different than every other guy out here who suffers from the “This is not what I signed up for” syndrome. For example when after two people get married, the woman begins to pick up weight, or stops updating her wardrobe, or seizes to wear makeup. Most men have serious problems with it.

I remember talking to MJ one day and he explained that guys have to be attracted to the girl and think she’s beautiful if they decide to be with her. There is no “well she has SWAG and that kinda makes her cuter.” NO, either she is or she isn’t. And if she isn’t, than for most guys, there is no need for a relationship.

My other friend DG said, “I don’t know why girls haven’t figured this out yet. Stay in the gym and get your hair done. It’s that simple. We don’t ask for much, but yall just don’t get it.” When I said, well we have a lot to do/pay for; nails, accessories, etc. He said, Ain’t nobody tell you to do all that. Men know that girls like a certain type of body, so what do we do? We go to the gym. It’s that simple.”

So, I say all that to say, if a women changes her look mid-relationship, this can potentially cause a serious problem. But should women while stating their wedding vows pledge to “love, cherish, and never change as long as we both shall live?” On the other hand, it is important to please your mate. What do we do.

What is your take on this conundrum?

("Just as long as your love don't change." - Musiq Soulchild fades out.)

How do you feel about Waterbording?

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/05/03/AR2009050301739.html

Please share your comments.

After contemplating which bike I would get between the Suzuki GSX 600 (on the left) or the Yamaha R6. I have decided to go ahead and get the GSX 600 because its a little more user friendly and this will be my first bike! It's sexy ain't it!

DO YOURSELF A FAVOR AND LISTEN TO THIS

http://octobersveryown.blogspot.com/2009/04/acoustic-best-i-ever-had.html

Weekend Warrior

Friday: After work Drinks at a cool bar in DC and a Movie. We are going to see obsessed. I just want to see if Bey SUCKS. I know, Ima hater.

Saturday: Saturday Brunch with the ladies at an outside patio restaurant. Then taking the motorcycle out for a spin via my friend, D. Then, Shannon's B-day outing.

Sunday: Church and then business meeting to finally get this company off the ground.

Great fulfilling weekend!

Friday Sickness

Why is it that everytime Friday rolls around and i'm ready to PAR-TAY!! I get an uncontrollable headache that starts at my temples cirlces my eyes, goes through my nostrals and heads down to my neck and settles in my back!!! I feel like jabbing my fists into my sockets (which I have to carefully refrain from touching because I can't mess up my eye makeup. :-/ I'm going out tonight!!).

Those who know me know that I suffer from chronic headaches and/or migraines. (SHOOT I FORGOT TO GET THAT NEW PERSCRIPTION OUT OF THE PHARMACY). I have some very strong (read narcotic) medicines but I hate taking them because they wipe me out and make me feel woozy (read high)! So instead, I used to pop excedrin everyday or every other day. Now, I can't even take that anymore because as my doctor explains it, "my body has developed a dependency on the medicine and waits for it when a headache arrives." So everyday, I exist with a dull headache. It never really goes away. I just live with it.

My new perscription medicine, which I forgot to take out, is a pill that I will pop everyday that will hopefully reduce the frequency and intensity of these headaches.

Anyway, I say all this to say, I'm STILL GOING OUT TONIGHT!!!! Yes sir! I refuse to stop my life because of these things.

They Photoshopped the Prez

To add insult to injury. They photoshopped the president in this picture. The shorts he was wearing in on the magazine below were BLACK not RED!! This pic has been floating around for a while and everyone has seen it so the change was blatantly obvious. READ about the outrage here. But for those who want the short version, read my favorite comments below

"This is not just any man whose half-naked body you are exploiting with your prurient self interest. This man is the chief representative of our society to the rest of the world. And so, when you use and cheapen his likeness as you have, you take something from all of us."

I believe it is disrespectful to have our awesome President of the United States, shirtless on your cover - however there is no denying that Mr. Obama is hot and looks great !!!!!!!

What a stupid idea to change the original picture which looked great. Only shows how stupid newpaper editors have become in this country. Two thumbs down for the Washington Post. The Predident should sue you to publish the original version.

Come on now, is there really this many people upset over this? You sound like my grandparents bickering and giving a lecture at Thanksgiving dinner. Do us a favor, go back to reading AARP Magazine and playing scrabble. Lighten up people!

cool picture. We should all have a look on how he is running his job and not how he is looking like in shorts. I feel with a pic like this, you show us all, that a president is by the end of the day also only a human being.

I think it is tasteless and part of this outrageous celebrity culture tjhat transfomrs people in products for consumption and idolization of appearances, superficiality and fashion styles. Not at all appropriate for a president and senseless. People didn’t vote for him becasue of this physical appearance; they voted for him because he is a thinker whose capital is his brain and knowledge about issues and capacity to lead , tackle and resolve the pressing problems of the country, and inspire. We have an intelligent, smart, competent and healthy president. I am disappointed in the magazine for having fallen into this culture that is not helping the country.

Get a grip people, it’s just a picture. He looks like he just left the gym or on vacation or something. It’s nothing provocative at all. He’s not the idol god everyone keeps trying to make him out to be, he is a middle aged man, emphasis on man, who happens to be the President. He’s showing people how to chill and relax sometimes. You don’t have to always act like you have a broom stuck up your A**.

I explained my thoughts in my previous blog below.

Anyway, just though i'd post the full image.

Confession: I've been leading a double life!

The truth is. I have another blog

http://japerasworld.wordpress.com/

whew! I feel better.

.The End.

OH! ok..... :-? LOL

Hmmmm. So of course this has sparked SO much discussion. My insider at the Washingtonian explained that even though this cover has only been officially released today, they have already recieved hundreds if not thousands of comments. They span the gamet of, this cover is racist, it's prodemocratic, it's antidemocratic, it's pro-republican, it's anti-republican.

Whatever it is, I know that i'm a little uncomfortable looking at my Prez in his trunks. But then someone on YouTube posted a video of all the presidents who were caught with their shirts off in photos. It appears Prez O was not the first one. Take a peak here.

What do you think?

.The End.

What are you trying to tell me?

I think someone is trying to tell me something. I do this 8 to 5 thing as a contractor, knowing in the back of my heart that this is NOT where I want to be. Every now and then, I even get mad at where I am in my life and I couldn’t understand why things weren’t unfolding right for me. Now I do. This past week so many messages have been THROWN IN MY FACE. They are the answers to my question.

The Answer: I’m Lazy
Some people have that can’t stop, won’t stop, work work work drive. It’s innate in them. Sitting around, makes them frustrated. And although people from the outside looking in see me and think I do, I don’t.

I admire people like Diddy and especially rappers, all of them, because they hustle so hard. ALL the TIME. I’d rather sit and home and watch a movie. But most people who are wildly successful have that internal drive that won’t let them sleep at 2am when they have to wake up at 6am. Let me give you all the examples that have HIT me in my face in the past 7 days.

1) I follow Diddy’s tweets, and even though he’s sick as a dog this week, he is still inspiring himself to Dream big. He has started this whole LOCKED IN movement. What? That’s crazy. Even with a self-proclaimed fever of 103. (I lose productivity when I don’t feel “right” in the morning).

2) I read a Weezy article yesterday. He was explaining what it took to me a member of his group Young Money. I wish I could relocate the interview but he said something to the affect of “I never stop, I’m always running and I keep going. When I meet somebody that has that drive that can keep up with me I keep them around me because they have Young Money potential.’

3) Drizzy Drake did 3 mixtapes in an effort to PROVE and SOLIDIFY his audience. He says, he could have gotten a record deal after his first tape but it wasn’t time yet. So, instead, he grinded it out and did mixtapes for free. He said he had so many strikes against him, his teenage TV show, being from Toronto, Singing and Rapping, etc. but instead of letting his music dream go, he kept pushing and now, he says, it just adds to his story and makes him great!

4) Rev Run shared this with me this morning: “KID ROCK IS RELENTLESS. Author..-John Maxwell... While looking at Kid perform night after night for hours and hours and rehearse during the day.. I said to myself whoa this dude is amazingly talented! THEN as I saw the work ethic, I came to the conclusion That having talent is just the beginning.. God gives us talent and its up to us to cherish and develop it, so we can serve others and make God proud.. This dude would do whatever it took to rock the house and give the world a good time... Props to Kid! In conclusion I say... Practice Practice Practice! I read a quote that's fitting for this word of wisdom.. If I miss a day of practice, I know it.. If I miss two days of practice my manager knows it. If I miss three days of practice my audience knows it... Develop your craft everyone! Practice”

5) I finished reading one of my sisters books about a female African American Marketing Director at an all white pharmaceutical company. She worked long hours day after day, checking and rechecking her work. She was stressed but her determination literally paid off.

6) Then this morning I come to work and my co-worker shares with me his slide show presentation and went on to explain that this is his first presentation with the big wigs and has been working 50-60 hours a week and 4 hours plus on the weekends. When I asked why, he said simply, “well I’m highly ambitious.”

7) My sister just went off to do a photography shoot for her friend Toya who owns an online boutique last weekend. It’s small and simple, but she’s doing it! And in 10 years she may have 5 stores. I’m not mad. By the way, the pics turned out great!

8) Russell Simmons said in his book the difference between the average person and the most successful people are that the successful people follow through on their ideas. That’s it, simple DRIVE and FOLLOW THROUGH! That really hit me. I have so many dreams and ideas but I have not made any MOVES with any consistency.

Don’t you think someone is trying to tell me something?

I can’t stop

.The end.

Drakes Coming to me!!!

Drake will be performing in Washington, DC on May 16, 2009 at Love nightclub.

I might actually have to make an appearance in LOVE!!! :-/
http://mymoodismusic.com/2009/04/17/drake-tour-dates/


From my sources I hear the tickets will be $50!!! Wowzers.

See you soon hun.. MUAH
.The end.