The Days You Don't Love Him

Have you ever had those days where you look at your significant other and question if you can really spend the rest of your life together? The day before you were madly in love; wanting him/her around every single minute of every single day, for every singly breath you take. Then the next day, it's like someone flicked the light switch.

I live in dread of that day. The day the light switches "off." However, it always seems to find me. In every serious relationship i've been in, there is a moment when I suddenly loose interest and everything changes. He no longer looks good, the way he walks bothers me, the conversation leaves me rolling my eyes.

The problem is not him. The problem is 100% mine to own. I've lost one "perfect" guy because the switch came and I left him. My eye began to wander. I began to wonder what I was missing. I felt trapped. Now it's happening again and I'm so scared. I don't want to loose another great guy because i'm a mess. I want to get married. I want to be with someone. I don't want to feel trapped. I want to be happy.

So as of right now, I suffer in silence. Hoping that those feelings of want and desire come back. What is wrong with me? This is the third time this has happened. I don't want to discard good people forever.

I don't want to hurt anyone else.

Will this ever change?