This just has to be said...

You know my sisters have been calling my a snob for the past couple days/weeks. But really I'm not a snob. They've got it confused.

I have short patience for other peoples stupidity or their emotional issues. I fake like i'm concerned.... No.... I AM concerned but just not for very long or rather not with any depth. I can't make myself utterly breakdown or really empathize with them deep down in my heart to the point I would/COULD cry for them. Atleast not with any sincerity. I mean, I could fake it. Also, Outside of the times when I have too, I choose not to conform my opinions or desires for other people. In the past, i tried to, but i realized, by doing this, I hurt myself because it took too much strength for me. I found myself getting agitated or sick or upset. So now, I do what I want to do...up to the point that it will not literally hurt someone else. This may seem calloused, and maybe it is, but what's the alternative, always being pissed FOR THE BENEFIT OF SOMEONE ELSE?? I think not.

I know that none of this is probably making any sense. I'm just starting to understand this about myself while I type this is out.

However, I am a Gemini. And although I don't take to much stock in astrology, I do have double personalities. I really am an emotional being. So much so that it may seem that i'm weak. I'm a softy and things hurt my feelings really easily. Mean things people say about me really bother me. What people think of me really affects me. LOL! How can i be a bitch but then get upset when other people think negatively of me?

I don't understand how people put up with me. I'm such a tragic being. I don't know how my boyfriend does it. I'm a mess, but he seems to fit perfectly with all my pieces. Why? Because he lets me be who I am. He just lets me be.... Oh my... Lord please help me. This is not how you want me to be.


Things that make me happy

1. singing in the basement by myself

2. kicking it with my girls in the house, talking about nothing

3. reminiscing about the past with my friends

4. the moment at the club when the beat drops to my favorite song

5. Watching movies all day on the couch with AJM

6. when lunch time rolls around at the job

7. when I finish designing or writing something and it looks good or reads well

8. After going shopping and looking through the bags at what I bought

9. when I put together the perfect outfit for the day

10. The feeling I get when AJM and I do something nice for a stranger

11. Buying something from Express for AJM

12. AJM (lol)

13. When my sister brings me something from the city

14. ATV's

15. Finding a good new book to read.

16. my new rain boots (i've been looking for them forever)

17. Laughing so hard until I cry

18. Dancing around in my underwear

19. chicken patties (they remind me of spending time with AJM- everytime I go to his house I get a chicken patty)

20. Making other people laugh

21. watching the CW (guilty pleasure)

22. the macoroni and cheese from Carolina's kitchen

sidenote: yes, I've noticed that food makes me happy. But, hey, its the truth. I'm not ashamed.

23. playing football head with AJM

24. hearing a good story

25. Thinking about my future

26. seeing my room clean

27. Kara's special walk

28. Talking to my coworker Dina about Egypt (where she is fun)

29. seeing money in the bank

30. talking to a random stranger and being engrossed in a good conversations

31. Watching real live dorks in action (once, me and ajm watched 4 dorks- complete with push down socks and short shorts- playing four square on the basketball court)

32. playing with kids

33. saying "OM to the G"

34. good facebook pics

35. beginning my day off with a croissant, an apple juice and a blog

36. making new friends/associates

37. hanging with my extended family. lol. my immediate family is aight.

38. listening to Teedra Moses

39. New music on my IPOD

40. dreaming about traveling the world.

41. holding babies...that I can give back

42. rekindling old friendships

43. recognition by my peers for a job well done. (it's not WHY I do it but lets be real, it still feels good)

44. A good party and being juust RIGHT. HEEYY!!

45. Chocalate milk with whipped cream.


Wee a Wee a Wee

If you saw me in the back of a police car. What would you think I had been arrested for?


A Little Spice

I'm happy in my relationship. Really, I am. I have been dating AJM for about 3.5 years now. Of all the young women I know, I am the only one in a consistent relationship with a great guy who truly loves the mess out of me. He doesn't BS me, he's open and honest, communicates... eventually, and is working toward being a better man.

But i'm a girl who likes spontaniety and a juicy story. I'm a thunderous river not a peaceful lake. AJM is the lake and that is why we work well together. He balances me out. But every now and then i need some excitement; a story to tell. Something I would have to run and dish to my best friend like, "girl, do you know he did THIS..." But AJM is not that kind of guy. He plays sports, stays at home, works and is a genuine GOOD guy. I'm going to visit him in a couple of weeks. Maybe he'll have an adventure planned?!?!?!

Here's to hoping.



The variety of symptoms and combinations of symptoms are usually dividedinto four major groups, according to Lisa Rarick, M.D., medical officer inFDA's division of metabolism and endocrine drug products. Breast tenderness,swelling, weight gain, and bloating comprise one group of symptoms. A secondgroup includes emotional changes such as depression, forgetfulness, crying, insomnia, and confusion. A third group involves headaches, food cravings(especially sweets), increased appetite, fatigue, and dizziness. The fourth group includes anxiety, nervous tension, mood swings, and irritability.



The Quarter-Life Crisis

Although I didn't write this piece, this was sooo True for me. I couldn't have said it better myself. This is definitely where I find myself right now and may be the reason I'm looking at the glass as half-empty right now (see below post).
This is for everone under 25 and maybe a few over. Have you been there? Are you still there?

The Quarter-Life Crisisby: Unknown

It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are a lot of things about yourself that you didn't know and may or may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.
You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you do not realize is that they are realizing that too and are not really cold or catty or mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.
You look at your job. It is not even close to what you thought you would be doing or maybe you are looking for one and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and are scared.
You miss the comforts of college, of groups, of socializing with the same people on a constant basis. But then you realize that maybe they weren't so great after all.
You are beginning to understand yourself and what you want and do not want. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging a bit more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and add things to your list of what is acceptable and what is not. You are insecure and then secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.
You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you or you lay in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough to get to know better. You love someone but maybe love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you are not a bad person.
One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap and getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision.
You worry about loans and money and the future and making a life for yourself and while wining the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!
What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.


Am I a glass half empty kind of person?

Is there anything wrong with that?






cream cheese


When I have my company I'm not going to have any secretaries. I think secretaries are archaic. New wave corporoate structure and environment is changing. The only one's keeping hold of that stuffy old style are the OLD people.
I interned at the Office of Inspector General and I didn't realize how progressive they were, even as a governement agency. They were incoporating two new company policies.

1. Go where the work is
2. Knowledged centered work environment

The first is self-explanatory but was also the justification for their work-at-home program. If you can work best at home or in the field rather than at the office. Stay at home! The Inspector General even said there is no reason for employee's to come in and do minimal work in the office simply so that others can watch over them!! How progressive is that.
The second school of thought did away with the heirarchal corporate structure. Rather, the IP and top executives decided it was best to have a circular office structure. Give assignments to the person who can do the work and communicate circulararly not on a ladder system. Everyone in the offices knowledge is beneficial. It's the "Knights of the Roundtable" theory. It's so much better. (News room's and newspapers/magazines often work like this)
I applaud the OIG and other places like google who are merging the corporate environement with today's progressive theories.
At the place I'm working right now, the executive secretary is in full effect. It's so horrible. lower level managers to top level executives can't even write a letter or find their own files. They would be lost without secretaries because they are so dependent on them. Where is the dictophone!!! Yes, it is that old school. Law firms are very much like this too; very heirarchal.
So I repeat, when I have my own firm, I will do away with secretaries. Assistants will assist PROJECTS not PEOPLE and their work will be of value. This will cut costs too. I can write my own %&*! letter.


I had a rough night last night. My usual bedtime is 10ish but i went to bed at one because I was caught up in an argument! Not complaining about the argument but I am mad that i'm suffering for it this morning. I got to work about 10-15 minutes late! AH Well!

I can't wait for Sept 1. All the season premiers begin that day. I'm hyping myself up so they better be good. I hope they aren't overated. I want to watch the new 90210, Gossip Girl, Samuri Girl, One Tree Hill, and this other new show on the CW. I know what you're thinking. My selection of shows lacks a certain diversity.... LOL!! I know, but I still like them! Maybe its the fact that they take me away. And I like that dumb teenage stuff. Nothing too serious because life is serious.

I'm kicking myself that I didn't pick up Solange's album yesterday!! I promised I would because I want to support her. I haven't purchased an album in I don't know how many years. The only new music I get is from my sister when she sends me all her new cd's. (I call myself a music person). How horrible.

Today is wednesday. No church tonight but we do have family study................

I'm wearing my dress as a shirt today. It looks good. I'm about to convert all of my dresses into shirts for the rest of the week.

Maybe I should start writing stories. I haven't written a story in years. I'm a journalism major so only articles, news stories. Fact not fiction has been my forte. Well let's give fiction a try. I would love to write a novel but i think i tire of things to quickly and a novel requires a lot of long-suffering. (suffering-that's how I look at it). I'm fast-paced, always ready for the next thing. I look at it as a positive quality not a negative. Although I'm sure many would disagree. Maybe short stories, but I always hate novels that are a collection of short stories. The minute you get into one story, it ends and your supposed to pick up the pieces and move on to the next. Usually I throw the book away after one, being too heartbroken that a good one has come to an end too fast. I should be a book critique. This summer alone I must have read atleast 50 books. Honestly, I still read 1-2 books a day. Books take me to another world. When I'm reading a book the real world is at best HAZY until i'm finished. It's like I walk around not fully "there" until the novel is complete because I'm so caught up in the pages. It's kind of bad. My boyfriend can barely reach me when I'm in the middle of a book. That's why it only takes me one day to finish. I HAVE TOO.

I have to pitch these stories today. I put them off long enough! Time is winding down, it's wednesday!

Well, goodmorning to you!



Thank you Ne-Yo for making mainstream Hip Hop and R&B GROW the heck up! 

He said 'somethings sexy about a woman who pays her car note and mortgage and 'bout to pay them both off!!! AND pays them on time!!  There is nothing cute about not paying your bills on time but you look good!! 

The women are in his Miss Independent video are in positions of power, Neyo said "You not getting the coffee, you leading the meeting." YES!! Not only does this girl in his video have a job she's the boss. In every other Hip Hop video women are just there as wallpaper and at a man's beck and call. Thank you Neyo for praising women who Do something with themselves. In all honesty, that's more representative of our society anyway. Black women have always been on their grind.

Yea, I'm working on mine so you work on yours


Not one for words

My father just pissed me off. I'm sitting by the dining room table and the phone rings. It's my aunt. He walks right up to the phone and stares at the caller ID. I explain that its aunt V and still, he does not pick up. He said if mom wants to talk to her she would pick up. Mom is probably not by the phone!!!!! I'm pissed because he always does this. When I call him he doesn't answer my calls either, even though I know he's home. I have to call like 3 times in a row before he answers. Pick up the &%!@ phone!!!



On that midnight train to.... Oklahoma?

Yea, that's right folks. Here we go again!!!! My man is going back to school and this time (since I have graduated) I will not be going back with him. I'm here in DC and he's there in Oklahoma..... for another year and a half. We went through this before and it wasn't all good. SO, I repeat. HERE WE GO AGAIN %$&%$^$%$%!!!!


You Can Have Whatever You Like

Awww man, I am falling in Love with T.I again. I can't wait for his new album. I don't know if that was PR but having that be his first single was a good look!!!!! It was so sweet.

The song and video is about a man meeting a girl who is living a very humble life and he introduces her to nice things. There are no pretenses. She doesn't come off as a gold digger and the man is not EXPECTING things in return. The relationship is geniune. Man, if that could happen in real life.


MAKING THE BAND 4: Let's make it happen

Yea! This show was hot! I'm going to be watching this on the regular! Here is my recap:

1. The boys can SING!! WHEW!! I'm already buying that album
2. D.Woods, Dawn and Shannon can sing
3. Abri is.... dare i say it.... too much/slutty. She needs to sit down
4. Diddy gets on my nerves. Those boys sounded good in the studio. He's making drama out of nothing. I think half of that crap is for tv. The other half is him trying to intimidate somebody. He needs to go sit down with Abri.
5. I think Qwanell and Will are some cool dudes.
6. I think Dawn and Q are cute. HOWEVER, don't mix business with pleasure.
7. Why does this have to be a competition. Why does it have to be THAT much stressful for them. GEEZ
8. If Diddy wasn't on the show, I'd still watch
9. The boyz need a group name. REGARDLESS, i'm still buying that album. That first song was so hott
10. I will be watching next week. 

That's my top 10 thoughts y'all. What did you think??


My own Version of "WHO ROCKED IT BETTER

WE ALL KNOW THE ANSWER!!! You betta recognize


I love this commercial


Especially the part where the man is schocked and he throws his stuff away. lol