I ate four BIG cookies today.

Oh goodness. I was trying to eat well these last couple of days before I went to ATL. I didn't do to well. I can only eat vegetables tonight.


hatin' on the word hater

I hate the term hatin." Just because you have an opinion about something that happens to be negative doesn't mean your a hater. Sometimes it's not even negative, it's just honest. We can't always have good opinions about something and everyone has different view points. Now it seems that if we don't preface our comments with, "I'm not hating but..." then we are cast aside with the rest of the "haters."

Shouldn't we be able to express our opinion be it, positive or negative, without being called a hater just because we don't like it. If a hater = someone who has a negative opinion, THEN where would the world be without hater's. We need both.

In that case:

Yes, I'm hating on George Bush and I can't wait till he's out of office
Yes, I'm hating on Kiamsha alumni who haven't once come back to mentor/help these kids
Yes, I'm hating on Rihanna's new song. WHO IS SHE? I just don't like it!! I'm not hating on the child. I could care less about her.

Yes, I'm hating on Usher and R.Kelly's new song. They could have done better. Point blanck, PERIOD. I'm not hating on them. I love both of them.

On the other hand......

I'm loving lupe fiasco's song "He say, she say" for shedding some light on the "absentee father" and its OBVIOUS affect on today's black youth. "Give them a fighting chance."

I'm loving those who have come back to help and be in the conference
I'm loving the fact that David has RSVP'd for the Saturday Academy Alumni program this weekend. I haven't seen him in a while. Now if we could just see John.



Everything is looking good. I had a great weekend last weekend. I took some friends that had recently moved to the city down to the Washington, monument, the reflection pool and then down to Adams Morgan. On Saturday i went to visit my friend who is now a WONDERFUL friend, there was a crab feast (mmmm) and then I went to see oceans 11. On Sunday, my friend came over again and we watched movies and did my homework. :-)

Now I'm getting to work and my mean co-worker is complimenting me, telling me I'm one of the best who has ever worked on the daily newsletter. She's being so sweet, she literally JUST offered me the bagel in the lunch room. what?!?! This is like another world.

Today is our best practices convention and I was the event planner for it. I set the room up for the top executives, but the work orders and food orders in. Everything is working out fine. I messed up on the title of a person on one name tag and that is it.

The only downside to all of this is that i'm sick.... but I can feel myself getting better so even that's a plus. All in all, everything is looking up. No complaints from me


Thank you MH

Isn't it so funyy how that perfect song can change your mood completely. I was opening up blogspot to start releasing pent up stress. I struggled to get the company's daily newsletter out by 10am (the deadline) this morning. I sent it out at 9:59. I couldn't gather enough stories. My heart was beating fast and even after 9:59am I was still out of it.

Immediatly, I opened music player and turned to my song, Hold N' Back bt Marques Houston from his new album Veteren. Completely underated. Don't sleep on it y'all. http://echovibes.imeem.com/music/AMWB0Qlq/hold_n_back_feat_mya_shawnna/

By the time I opened blogspot, and stared at the black section for me to begin composing this post, my whole attitude had changed. Just that quickly. I sighed. I love this song. The music is so sensual.

Why you treat me like you do?

Can it just be me and you?

Cause I don't wanna play no moreIf I let go, you let go

Cause i just cant get enough

And i just wanna feel you touch

But I just gotta know whatsup, wutsup, wutsup

[Verse 1 (Marques Houston)]

Hey girl come here sit down

Lemme holla at you a while

Gotta get this off my chest Hope that you can handle it

We've been seeing each other a lot

Honestly I dont want it to stop

You and me; Me and you

Im liking what we've got

Only thing thats bothering me

We aint as close as we should be

Thats cause your holding backHolding back your love for me

How do you expect to grow if you just dont let go

[Chorus (Marques Houston)]

Hey Why you tryna hold back

Why you tryna hold back

When you know you want it just like I do

Why you acting like that, girl dont do me like that

All Im tryna do is be next to you

Why you tryna hold back

Why you tryna hold back

on me baby

All I want is you stop holdin back on me

[Verse 2 (Mya)]

Dont take offense to this

Not tryna start no mess

Aint tryna have you stressed

This is just a little test

I wanna see how serious

Serious you are of us

Do you like or like me not

Im loving what we've got

Only thing that bothers me

We aint close as we should be

Thats cause your holding back

Holding back you love for me

How do expect this thing to growIf you dont let it go go go go

[Chorus (Mya and Marques Houston)]

Babe Why you tryna hold back

Why you tryna hold back

When you know you want it just like I do

Why you acting like that, girl dont do me like that

All Im tryna do is be next to you

Why you tryna hold back

Why you tryna hold back on me baby

All I want is you stop holdin back on me

[Verse 3 (Shawnna)]

Everytime I get to thinking bout youI see I cant be without you

Cause you that shit, thats it And I really cant leave rite now boo

You my fix, your kiss

Made me bout to let go bout to

But wait right quick cant slipI dont really think your down with this

See I played these games before

And i fall everytime we go

Cause see I cant no more

I move slow but dont really wanna stop the flow

Dont know what to do

Gotta just relax and hold back

Just sit back and roll that, roll that, rolle that

[Chorus (Mya and Marques Houston)]

[Outro (Shawnna)]

Why you treat me like you do?

Can it just be me and you?

Cause i just cant get enough

And i just wanna feel you touch

Wutsup wutsup

Why you treat me like you do?

Can it just be me and you?

Cause i just cant get enough

And i just wanna feel you touch

I just gotta know whatsup, wutsup, wutsup


DRIVING me crazy

This morning I was really excited about everything. I had idea's to throw a party/meet and greet/coctail/brunch THING (lol) but now I'm totally through with it. It always feels like a have these great idea's that i'm sure people would love but I never have the funds to pull them off. Money is always a problem. It defenitely takes money to make money, but I don't have ANY. And i'm not just doing it for the money, I mean I want to do it. Not only will it be fun but will provide a network for young, black, dc urbanites to meet and connect. It would be great. But whatever, i'm about to flush the whole idea down the toilet. Who cares, No one but me anyway.

People always want to see or do great things but never want to do the legwork behind it. Have you found that too? I mean, there are very few people in the world who dedicate themselves to something and are actually dependable when it comes to the hardwork that it takes to get the job done. Who can you count on? No one but yourself. I guess it always happens like that. When you're in the driver's seat the burden falls upon your sholders no matter how many people are in the car. It's your job to navigate through the traffic while everyone else decides to go to sleep. It's not fair but that's how it always happens.

I just wish for once I can meet people who weren't just about talk (talking about ideas, future, etc.) but were about action. I wish for once I can meet people who are just as excited as I am about programs, parties, ideas, to help keep me motivated as well. Where are you? I'm right here. If you're one of those people (a doer and not just a talker) come holler at me, because I want to start doing now, RIGHT NOW!!

...but if that's not you, I guess I'll have to do it by myself. Been doing by myself till now anyway.

(Disclaimer, this has come from years of pent of frustrations including but not limited to BSA, Kiamsha, personal endeavors, whatever)


TiCk tOcK

I'm waiting patiently... tick tock tick tock... for you to come into my life. I know I can't rush it so all I can do is wait... tick tock tick tock... I don't need many I just need one, YOU! So it's time for you to step up to the plate with your tall, sexy, confident, fun-loving self.

I know you'll make me laugh. We'll laugh all the time and you'll have the most beautiful smile. You're oh so fine face will light up, which will in turn send shivers down my spine. You'll be so sweet to me when we're alone, that I know you're just a softy at heart.

When we go out on dates and you show up at my door, you'll make me fall in love with you again. Dressed to perfection, but laid back at the same time; the crisp white shirt accentuating your chocolate skin, white teeth and perfect shape up. Do you know how sexy you are?? I think so but you haven't let it go to your head.

You're a humble guy, not showy with the materials you have but content to just be you... you and me that is. The time we have together will arm us for the time we are apart. Both of us with busy schedules and dreams of our own, but never to much to take away from what's important -- HAVING FUN TOGETHER. That's it, we just want to have fun, wherever we go, whoever we're with.

So I ask you again, what is taking you so long? Because I'm waiting, tick tock tick tock. I waiting, tick tock, patiently for you.



I hate messing up. I think I'm doing something right and SANDRA the witch finds someway for it to be wrong. Is it just me or does she make a big deal out of everything. My co-worker keeps pointing out to me that she talks to me so rudly and that she never spoke to her like that.

Maybe I'm just not doing it right. I don't know. My co-worker says maybe I should speak with Agape (our boss) about Sandra's rude behavior. I don't know, I'm not trying to get anyone in trouble or cause a rift because I still have to work with her. Goodness, I just wish she'd leave me alone. Now that all these SARCs are done maybe I won't have to deal with her as much.

Maybe the reason why she's never spoken rudly to my co-worker because my co-worker is a permanent employee who doesn't have to ask questions and such and I'm just an intern. Who knows. But I know this, my days would be a lot better if Sandra would just CHILL OUT.

Goodness gracious. she get's on my nerves. And for goodness sake, I don't want to go down and pass out the SARCS to Congress on the Hill in 90 degree weather. Just shut up about it, already. Plus my stomach doesn't feel well.