2.7.10

The Days You Don't Love Him

Have you ever had those days where you look at your significant other and question if you can really spend the rest of your life together? The day before you were madly in love; wanting him/her around every single minute of every single day, for every singly breath you take. Then the next day, it's like someone flicked the light switch.

I live in dread of that day. The day the light switches "off." However, it always seems to find me. In every serious relationship i've been in, there is a moment when I suddenly loose interest and everything changes. He no longer looks good, the way he walks bothers me, the conversation leaves me rolling my eyes.

The problem is not him. The problem is 100% mine to own. I've lost one "perfect" guy because the switch came and I left him. My eye began to wander. I began to wonder what I was missing. I felt trapped. Now it's happening again and I'm so scared. I don't want to loose another great guy because i'm a mess. I want to get married. I want to be with someone. I don't want to feel trapped. I want to be happy.

So as of right now, I suffer in silence. Hoping that those feelings of want and desire come back. What is wrong with me? This is the third time this has happened. I don't want to discard good people forever.

I don't want to hurt anyone else.

Will this ever change?

GOD, PLEASE NOT AGAIN!

4 comments:

MJ said...

You aren't alone, Pooh... It happens to many of my friends and myself, but then it stopped... For myself, I had to realize that there is no perfect person and that I will always irritate others so how can I hold them to a higher bar than I hold myself to? It's simply not fair. So once I realized that (after like two years of singleness) I got into another relationship and everything seemed to fall into place. Now I'm married to a wonderful woman and won't look back :)

There is hope for you. You will find your way and get married as soon as you're ready!!

j.a.c. said...

Yes, this does happen to everyone. But there comes a point where you realize that rolling your eyes and wanting a minute alone is normal. Once you accept that this is going to happen and you know that you'd rather be with the person than without (even in the dark moments), you're good to go! If there's something specific that is absolutely nagging and unbearable, than that's the cut off point. But you're cool. It's just what comes with the territory.

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