21.5.09

Memorandum

Memo
to: Baby Boomers,

It is time for you to retire. Do you understand that because you fail to retire you are setting of a chain of economical issues that are sure to affect us for the next 20 years. Let me break it down for you because clearly you DON’T get it. (step 1 leads to step 2, etc.)

1. Economy: The bottom fell out during the years of the Bush. Stocks dropped. Spending stopped. Companies flopped.
2. Baby Boomers: You lost ½ of your 401k and retirement income so now you think you need to stay at work longer because 1) you need to build your money back up and 2) your 20 year old children are dependent on you because *GASP* they have yet to find a job post college and have thousands upon thousands in student loans.
3. Recent grads can’t find jobs because job opportunities are limited. Why are they limited? Because baby boomers won’t FREAKING retire. Now the few jobs that are available are taken by those with 10-30+ years of experience. In these trying times what HR representative would hire a recent graduate with intern experience over someone with 10-20+ years. (yes it’s true- Those with more experience are now competing in lower-end jobs because they are looking for ANYTHING that will help them pay the bills).
4. So Mom and Dad, here is the synopsis. The reason why your recent graduates stay at home longer, mooching off of you is because you and your MASSIVE baby boomer co-workers won’t MOVE THE HECK OUT THE WAY. Here’s my poem.

Ode to Old People

Baby boomers won’t retire

Recent grads can’t get hired

Recent grads stay at home

Recent grads default on school loans

Recent grads can’t buy homes

Banks can no longer function alone

Government decides to lends them money

Taxes go up for everybody

Economy won’t go up

Recent grads still out of luck

Recent grads apply at Target

While waiting for a better job market

Recent grads goes back to school

Pays more money like a fool

20 years now have passed

Baby Boomers depart in masse

Who is there to take their place?

My five degrees can’t replace

The work experience you’ve snatched away

2 comments:

KB said...

Snaps!

Anonymous said...

This sums up the bitter pill I've been chewing lately. Awesome job!